Oh, Eurovan where art thou?

Just got off the phone with the transport trucker. Our Eurovan is in Tennessee so it looks like delivery will be tomorrow at the earliest.

Got a letter this morning, baby all it read,
You better head back to Tennessee Jed.

I dropped four flights and cracked my spine,
Honey, come quick with the iodine,
Catch a few winks, baby, under the bed
Then you head back to Tennessee Jed.

Tennessee, Tennessee, there ain't no place I'd rather be,
Baby won't you carry me back to Tennessee*

Now you might think that that news would be a disappointment (and it IS a bit anticlimactic since last night I was like a kid on Xmas eve) but actually it is a bit of a blessing in disguise because we're still trying to organize our stuff. I completely underestimated the complexity of simplifying my life. Just going paperless on all of our accounts (bank, credit union, health insurance, van insurance, etc.) was epic in complexity. Numbers, User IDs, Passwords, Alert and Notification Options. Blah, blah, blah. The talons and tentacles of the Man are sharp and tenacious and the Noble Savage remains cowed and confused.

Then there's the organization of the physical objects that we plan to take with us. Like Lewis and Clark, I have concluded that it will be necessary to create an Expedition Manifest. The last few weeks of living out of storage bins and packing boxes has just about pushed me over the edge. The normally simple task of finding, for example, a particular charging unit for some gadget becomes akin to an arduous quest for the holy fecking Grail. I have, on occasion, slumped to the ground in bitter defeat. No, I do not know where the reticulated doohicky for the mini knick-knack thingee is. Your frosted mini-pads? Aren't they in the box with the spices, batteries, and toiletries, dear? Sheesh.

The Expedition Manifest will surely be my salvation. The digital voice recorder? Yes, green pack, inside pocket 2. Binoculars? Hmmm....blue pack, main compartment. A place for everything and everything in it's place. The smug complacency of the bourgeoisie. Ha! Or, perhaps, still too much stuff.

At any rate, here's the Expedition Manifest creation process I've been following and that may help you understand why an extra day or two before the Eurovan arrival is not really such an odious thing. All of our remaining crap is/was in my daughter's spare bedroom (along with Otis and his luxury accommodations). So I've been moving stuff bit by bit to the garage (aka the Eurovan Expedition Staging Area or EESA) but each time I move a set of stuff I repack into its assigned road container and write the contents on a master inventory sheet which you may also know by its more formal title: the Expedition Manifest.

I will post the contents of the Manifest soon, although I may have to edit it down when I see what will actually fit in the Eurovan. Stayed tuned.

*Grateful Dead

-Gerry